I love you like crazy. I still get butterflies every time I think about you. Your smile is tattooed in my head. My heart starts to tingle when I think of your silly facial expressions and overly retarded jokes. A smile would always form when I think about all the crazy times we had.
I am still in-love with you. The same in-love feeling that I felt at the start of our relationship.
It means I missed you this morning, when sunlight washed through my window with golden waves and kissed my face with warmth—I thought it was you, if only momentarily—and when I opened my eyes, I found your side empty, the side I drew you in the night before lying empty.
It means I missed you at breakfast, when all I wanted to do was make you something you love, something that brings delight and joy to your heart, and leaves you smiling after each bite — something healthy too, because we’re trying to be.
It means I missed you, when I could have saw you off to work, when we could have walked, or rode, or explored our way to the place you call your job, and we could have awkwardly tried to say goodbye, dragging the moments to keep from turning away, to hold the ‘see you later’s on our tongues.
It means I missed you when I rode the bus, with music playing through those white iconic headphones, and my head resting against the window that rattles with life, watching everything pass in quiet suburban scenes of green grass and rainbowed benches.
It means I missed you when it rained, when the clouds weighed in heavy grey and sprinkles, and pours, fell upon my face as I stood there, wondering how long it would take for you to get your camera, for you to capture the moments in-between the rivulets on the window and the curve of a smile.
It means I missed you at lunch, when I could have imagined a thousand excuses to visit you, to see you, to harass you, because I wish to see you with the kids, and cast in the heated butter glow of a blooming summer afternoon.
It means I missed you in the late afternoon, where we could wander through parks, and photographed the sun through the tree leaves—fingers breaching the shadows—and the time we could waste on mind built playgrounds and getting lost in places we know so well.
It means I missed you as I watched the sunset, as the blushed pink and orange nectarine colours bled through the sky, soaking the white clouds in brilliance and meshing palettes like water based paints, because we could chase the beauty to high places and forget the little things that don’t matter.
It means I missed you at dinner, while I cooked as the food sizzled, while the house become intoxicated with smells that leave mouths salivating, because I want to cook the most delicious food for you, the kind that I can impress you with, so I can hear you say you’re proud.
It means I missed you when night fell in full cover, when the stars sparkled with youthful optimism, and we could have spread blankets, and held hands in neon glows, and shared laughter over how our days had gone, and secretly, wished to catch a shooting star in the gleam of our eyes.
It means I missed you, as I was examining the border of my side of the bed and the cliff edge that falls to the floor, the space I stretch my arms absentmindedly when I’m too tired to separate reality from dream, and forget that you are miles from me.
It means I miss you, terribly, from the moment you have to say goodbye and to the second we exchange smiled hellos through tiny yellow-faced icons, and those infinitesimal periods between clicking enter and waiting for the purple italic words to say your writing back.
It means I wish you were here, or I were there, or we were us, anywhere.
“Every woman deserves a man who calls her “baby,” and kisses her like he means it. Every woman deserves a man that holds her like he never wants to let her go and doesn’t cheat or lie. Every woman deserves a man who wipes away her tears when she cries, and doesn’t make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her. Every woman deserves a man who is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know everyday how much he truly loves her.”— Author Unknown (via theladycheeky)