“…There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark… Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their name pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them, even to yourself, words are useless.”
The sound of your heart, is a tiny orchestra playing just for me. These things only you and I understand, are of significance, they are a mutuality, they are balanced. We are always meeting in the middle as pendulums do, and this way I can never truly be finished, as there’s always some union between the two of us. Some gravitational pull present between the hearts we hold. I’d rather tear at your soul, and rip it into little tiny paper shreds, just so I can write the words “i love you” on every piece of it . Every tiny piece of you that is me, will be remembered, will be cherished, will be loved. We are entangled within a web of lying awake at night thinking of ways to express the ways we admire the grace within the other. I am so hopelessly entranced within the feel of your hands, radiance in your stance, the mold, make, and the break of your plans. Sometimes I get so lonely inside of your love, only because I know you are not made for me and neither am I for you. I cant help but think, whoever is lucky enough to have you for eternity better know how to love you so long it actually lasts. To touch that spot in your soul that holds the perfection you have yet to release, to create with you something so beautiful, we have yet to see. You deserve it all, even if you cant get IT from me. So now I wonder, how long it’ll take me to make the changes necessary for me to become a necessity to you, to ensure my place in your heart is never filled with something ordinary. For together, you and I create and exceed all standards, all stigma. We outlive the lies of the past and create truth within this substance, this love. You are incredible and I am blessed to have known you, to know you, to have seen you grow.
“If you admire someone tell them because people never get the flowers while they can still smell them.”
I’ll always be around, never too far outside of your reach, never too deep for you to swim in. I’ll never just stand by and watch you drown, all that you ask of me WILL be fulfilled. Sometimes I wish you were here, I wish you never left, but most of all, I wish you well.. I wish you my very, very best.
We dont live to be ressurrected, we die and long to know that every error we’ve ever lived has somehow been detected, every mistake we’ve ever made has somehow been corrected, the person that we were has somehow been perfected, and all the love we’ve ever lost is present where expected.. in the hearts of those we love the most. I hope you know, for me thats you.
Whether you’re a male or female, doesn’t matter. If you’re in a relationship, and you’re still calling other people at night, still sending flirtatious messages, still keeping that ‘rebound’ around, then get the hell out of your so called relationship.
It doesn’t matter if you only do it once in a while. It doesn’t matter if you were drunk. It doesn’t matter if it didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t matter if it was a tiny mistake. It doesn’t matter if the both of you were in the middle of an argument, that you decide to run to your rebound for the night.
Cheaters are cheaters, and if you consider yourselves to be officially together, then act like it.
It was the first time we had spoken in awhile. First time it felt normal. Without pain, without bitterness, without jealousy and anger. Friends. I used to dread the day that this would happen. Thinking if we could go from completely enthralled in each others lives, to simply a “Hello” and “How are you?”, that what we had hoped for together just wasn’t enough for us to hold on.
I used to think that as long as we remembered how it all started and remembered how much we promised each other, that we would never have to have a conversation about what each other has been up to since we last spoke. Having small talk was never an option because in all our companionship there was never enough room for it.
They say people come and go in our lives for a reason, and that some stay for awhile for the journey together. You live, laugh and love together. But more importantly you learn together. I don’t think I’ve quite understood that till now. It seemed like such a struggle towards the end, that at times it felt like nothing good would come of it.
That it would all just disintegrate and leave us angry, hurt, weak and exhausted, left to mend and fend for ourselves. We spoke and although not much was really said about the past, we both knew that indeed we had come and gone in each others lives for a reason.
We lived, laughed and loved together and through it all; learned. A great deal. So that we could do better and be better for ourselves and anyone else who is to come into our lives. It was the first time we had spoken in awhile and it was the first time I realized that what we had was good after all.
“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often”—Charles Bukowski (via -killerqueen)
Growing up, I’ve always been told to respect all adults. Whether they’re rude or annoying, I still have to respect them.
But I swear to god, some adults are just too fucking childish and stupid. I have come across so many of my mums friends that are so ridiculously selfish and naïve that even my 5 year old cousin is smarter and more selfless than they are. There are also those adults who brag too much about their ‘perfect family’ or their fortune.
It is so annoying when one of my mums friends come over and talk to ME about her ‘perfect life’. I don’t care how big your house is or that you just bought your son a plane ticket to New York to celebrate his post-HSC life. I do not give a shit if you just bought your fucking 14 year old daughter a BMW when she doesn’t even fucking have her learners yet. She’s probably still figuring out which boy she should choose and which to dump. And I do not give a shit about how many maids you have to clean your fucking 1.5 million dollar house.
Mind you, some people aren’t as lucky as you are. Some people do not have four fucking cars in their drive way and another two in the garage. Some people don’t have a swimming pool in their backyard or a jacuzzi in two out of four of their bathrooms.
I am happy for you that you have a happy life and that you can purchase anything you want and when you want it. Some people aren’t just as lucky as you are. However, it doesn’t give you the right to talk about it every single fucking time you come over. I’m not even jealous. I feel sorry for you though. You haven’t even worked a day in your fucking life. You got knocked up at the age of 18. You’re just lucky you married a rich man. You didn’t have to struggle, feel the pain or want something so bad that you can’t have because all you have to do is just swipe that card.
I honestly pitty you so much. But you know what’s even more pitiful about you? Your family doesn’t have an inch of love present. And I’m not saying that to make myself feel better. I’m saying that because all it revolves around are materialistic things. God. How many fucking 14 year olds do you know that has a fucking BMW?
I hate being accused of being unfaithful to my significant other. One thing I’ve learnt through being in long-term relationships is that some people tend to always make up pretentious and false accusations about it. Past and present.
First of all, I am utterly appalled by the amount of people that call themselves my ‘friend’ when reality they are just in it for the gossips. You see, people I have known (note the past tense) who used to back-stab the shit out of me are still the ones who are trying to manipulate the shit out of the people around me and feeding them false information. It’s getting so annoying, to the point of me wanting to simply just… well; punch the shit out of them and tell them to BACK OFF.
It made me realize that even not speaking to them and cutting them out of my life completely, they still somehow manage to find their way back to annoy me. It’s not like I wasn’t annoyed enough when we were still friends.
I do not like being talked about at all. I mean, who would? But especially if MY RELATIONSHIP is being talked about then bitch, you better lock your doors and windows because I swear to god I will find a way in and strangle you in your sleep then shave all your hair off and sell it.
And if you’re reading this, which I know you will. Let me say this clearly.
I am in a pretty fucking happy and committed relationship. My relationship has NOTHING to do with you. You are NOT in my life anymore so it does not concern you what so ever. So take all that bullshit that has come out of your mouth and shove it up your ass.
Oh, and I still pretty much fucking hate your guts.
In the past few weeks, I’ve been exposed to so many different types of people. Those who overlook a certain situation and make it seem bigger than it really is, those who bring out the worse in people and those who feel the need to meddle in other people’s business.
And as frustrating as it is to be around these types of people, I have somehow developed a kind of coping strategy. It’s called “not giving a single fuck”.
Lately, I’ve been too tired to cope with certain situations that have arise in my life simply because I’m just sick of having to be the one who ends up being the victim and feeling, well, pretty fucking shit.
But hey, it’s 2012. And I don’t give a single fuck. At all.
“The one I felt and still feel most is lack of time. I used to have time to think, to reflect, my mind and I. We would sit together of an evening and listen to the inner melodies of the spirit, which one hears only in leisure moments when the words of some loved poet touch a deep, sweet chord in the soul that until then had been silent. But in college there is no time to commune with one’s thoughts. One goes to college to learn, it seems, not to think. When one enters the portals of learning, one leaves the dearest pleasures―solitude, books and imagination―outside with the whispering pines. I suppose I ought to find some comfort in the thought that I am laying up treasures for future enjoyment, but I am improvident enough to prefer present joy to hoarding riches against a rainy day.”—Helen Keller, The Story of My Life (via bookmania)
There’s just so many people in the world we are bound to meet. Whether we meet them while we’re waiting for the 7 o’clock Bart ride to Downtown San Francisco or at a local Starbucks while waiting for our daily Grande Caramel Frappuccino, maybe ten, maybe close to twenty, we’ll see new faces on a daily basis. There are the ones that we just say a simple, “Hello” to, ones we become long term friends with, ones we build an intimate relationship with and of course, ones that just get away.
The ones that get away? Well yeah, those ones. Perhaps, we might already know this person who got away or this person is one we have yet to meet. And come to think of it, he or she just might be the best possible and most ideal individual that we envisioned to love and care about. You know, the one where everything is perfect, but nevertheless, the timing just might not have been well, perfect. Because somehow, somewhat, we realize that the hand we were dealt was the hand difficult, and worse, impossible to play with. So we just let them be - the person who got away.
They say, “Life is all about timing”. The right time to hit the ball with a baseball bat, the right time to say the punch line on a funny joke or the right time to shoot a perfect subject for a portrait. In most cases, it’s true that life is relevant to a certain “perfect timing”. And you see, maybe finding the right love requires the right time as well. ‘Cause come on, let’s face it, we’re not in our teens anymore and there’s just no more time left to waste on the wrong ones.
How often do we go through our daily lives without being aware of it? If we’re not ready, we just won’t be ready now or ten minutes later. And remember, we can’t just force ourselves into being in something we can’t devote our hundred and one percent to. The little arguments. The little disagreements. The things that eventually lead to the end of the road. The same road we’ve all been through one too many times. And it might not be us, and it might not be them, nor the million excuses for the pathetic lines like, “It’s not you, it’s me”. It might not be that. It’s might just be the time.
Sometimes, we tend to think we’ve got everything all figured out - when it should happen, how it should happen and who it should happen with. And sometimes, we tend to wonder why we think about certain things that we could have waited for to do and things we should have done a long time ago. We sometimes wonder if it would be any different if waited to mature a little bit more or wished to do all the things we should have done when we were a little bit younger.
So when the day comes and we are slowly putting the pieces together, and we finally figured ourselves out, and we know and we are sure of what we exactly want and desire, and we are confident enough not to only devote one hundred and one, but one hundred and two percent of time and emotion to the “one”. The one and only one, the one who might just be the one, the one who we want to be the one and of course, the same “one” we won’t just let slip and get away.
Life is all about perfect timing, they say. And there’s a perfect explanation why that person was standing on the platform at 6:55 in the morning, waiting for the same train. There’s a perfect explanation why that person is going on their caffeine run at the same exact Starbucks, the same exact city, and the same exact time we were. It’s all about timing. What if that person is actually “the one”?
I know we might often think that maybe we already missed that moment, or it’s too late, or we ran out of time - well, truth is, how do we know that? How do we know that we aren’t meant to be there at that exact place and time? We are always fearful that our ship is not going to come, or if it does, it already left us. But how do we know there’s not another one coming when the time is right? I guess, when that time comes, somehow, somewhat, things will just fall into places altogether. It won’t come a minute sooner, nor an hour later. Perfectly, it’ll just… come. Life is all about timing. Perfect timing.
Happy New Year everybody! I hope that 2012 brings happiness and everything for everyone!
The start of my 2012 wasn’t as great as I had thought it to be because when the clock stroke 12, all I wanted was my boyfriend right next to me. It wasn’t a great start but it got better when I woke up this morning. I got to talk to him for about an hour before he headed off. I didn’t have high expectations this year because I knew that I wouldn’t have the people I wanted to spend the count down with next to me.
I did however get to send text messages to my favourite people and received quite a lot from others who I didn’t even know had my number. My favourite message would have been from the best-friend and as corny as it was, it got me all teary (and she bragged on twitter about how sweet she was to send me a text. Pfft).
2011 was a longgggggggg year. I laughed and I cried. Well, I cried more than I laughed and I shouldn’t have! But it was pretty well spent because it made me realise a lot of things. I became close to people who I thought I’d never talk to. I lost contact with close friends and made contact with new ones. I even wanted to punch some bitch in her sleep… but lets not talk about that.
But regardless of everything, I’m just glad that it’s a new year and that means a new me…. LOLjkz, fuck that. I’m still the same old person. Whoever keeps saying “New Year, New Me” yeah fuck up and go lick a frog.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a fantastic start to a new year and got to spend it with all their love ones!