“What would happen if Pinnochio says “My nose will now grow.”?”
—
January 2012
Resurrected.
“…There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark… Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their name pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them, even to yourself, words are useless.”
The sound of your heart, is a tiny orchestra playing just for me.
These things only you and I understand, are of significance, they are a mutuality, they are balanced. We are always meeting in the middle as pendulums do, and this way I can never truly be finished, as there’s always some union between the two of us. Some gravitational pull present between the hearts we hold. I’d rather tear at your soul, and rip it into little tiny paper shreds, just so I can write the words “i love you” on every piece of it . Every tiny piece of you that is me, will be remembered, will be cherished, will be loved. We are entangled within a web of lying awake at night thinking of ways to express the ways we admire the grace within the other. I am so hopelessly entranced within the feel of your hands, radiance in your stance, the mold, make, and the break of your plans. Sometimes I get so lonely inside of your love, only because I know you are not made for me and neither am I for you. I cant help but think, whoever is lucky enough to have you for eternity better know how to love you so long it actually lasts. To touch that spot in your soul that holds the perfection you have yet to release, to create with you something so beautiful, we have yet to see. You deserve it all, even if you cant get IT from me. So now I wonder, how long it’ll take me to make the changes necessary for me to become a necessity to you, to ensure my place in your heart is never filled with something ordinary. For together, you and I create and exceed all standards, all stigma. We outlive the lies of the past and create truth within this substance, this love. You are incredible and I am blessed to have known you, to know you, to have seen you grow.
“If you admire someone tell them because people never get the flowers while they can still smell them.”
I’ll always be around, never too far outside of your reach, never too deep for you to swim in. I’ll never just stand by and watch you drown, all that you ask of me WILL be fulfilled. Sometimes I wish you were here, I wish you never left, but most of all, I wish you well.. I wish you my very, very best.
We dont live to be ressurrected, we die and long to know that every error we’ve ever lived has somehow been detected, every mistake we’ve ever made has somehow been corrected, the person that we were has somehow been perfected, and all the love we’ve ever lost is present where expected.. in the hearts of those we love the most. I hope you know, for me thats you.
“If Science exists, God doesn’t. Unless Science is an experiment and we are the subject.”
—
“I told myself to give my all to all the lovers. Past and present. However, I have to admit, I’m giving more to my present because, well, because he might be the one.”
—
Fuck cheaters.
Whether you’re a male or female, doesn’t matter. If you’re in a relationship, and you’re still calling other people at night, still sending flirtatious messages, still keeping that ‘rebound’ around, then get the hell out of your so called relationship.
It doesn’t matter if you only do it once in a while. It doesn’t matter if you were drunk. It doesn’t matter if it didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t matter if it was a tiny mistake. It doesn’t matter if the both of you were in the middle of an argument, that you decide to run to your rebound for the night.
Cheaters are cheaters, and if you consider yourselves to be officially together, then act like it.
“That feeling you get when you know that a friendship is about to end.”
—
First Time
It was the first time we had spoken in awhile. First time it felt normal. Without pain, without bitterness, without jealousy and anger. Friends. I used to dread the day that this would happen. Thinking if we could go from completely enthralled in each others lives, to simply a “Hello” and “How are you?”, that what we had hoped for together just wasn’t enough for us to hold on.
I used to think that as long as we remembered how it all started and remembered how much we promised each other, that we would never have to have a conversation about what each other has been up to since we last spoke. Having small talk was never an option because in all our companionship there was never enough room for it.
They say people come and go in our lives for a reason, and that some stay for awhile for the journey together. You live, laugh and love together. But more importantly you learn together. I don’t think I’ve quite understood that till now. It seemed like such a struggle towards the end, that at times it felt like nothing good would come of it.
That it would all just disintegrate and leave us angry, hurt, weak and exhausted, left to mend and fend for ourselves. We spoke and although not much was really said about the past, we both knew that indeed we had come and gone in each others lives for a reason.
We lived, laughed and loved together and through it all; learned. A great deal. So that we could do better and be better for ourselves and anyone else who is to come into our lives. It was the first time we had spoken in awhile and it was the first time I realized that what we had was good after all.
“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often”
—Charles Bukowski (via -killerqueen)
