I am one of those individuals who tend to shut people out of my life when I become insecure. For some odd reason, I find that if I stop communicating with my problems then it will disappear. I was wrong. Countless times.
I have lost my interest in people a long time ago.
How extremely beautiful it is to be alone and imperfect and incomplete and wake up one day realizing that all is well and as it should be.
To heartaches and things one can never be, to standards that were made to never be kept up with, to nights that drag longer than it should, to pasts that are no more, to presents that are no less, and to the future, that’s anybody’s guess.
To many things in life I do not understand, and to the beauty it withholds.
Tumblr has always been a place where I come to just to vent my heart out. I remember I used to stay up all night being on Tumblr, reading people’s blog posts, making my own blog posts, crying over people’s blog posts, crying while writing my up my own blog posts, basically a lot of crying and sad shit went down. But regardless of all that, I can’t believe how much I have grown out of all of that. Looking back at all those personal posts, I can’t believe that I used to be that depressed little girl who thought that it was never going to end.
Look at me now! I’m bloody happy. Ecstatic! Content! Over the fucking moon!
Thanks for sharing. Hey, you run quite an eclectic blog here, and I'm scrolling and scrolling. I really appreciate your support. See you around. Ah, if this is the ask box... may I ask you to tell me which one is your favorite photo?
No worries. You blog and posts are amazing. I spent quite some time reading and looking through most of it! :) Keep up the awesome work!
“Read that book, wake up early in the morning and go for that run to start off your day. Buy the nicest underwear and wear it to boost your mood. Eat as clean as possible because you’ll feel so much better but treat yourself as well. Be kind to everyone. Go out to a cafe and watch people walk buy as you sip your coffee. Compliment that stranger! Start a conversation with that person on the bus. Read a book about food, about astronomy, learn a new language. Watch the sunrise. Get away for a weekend. Introduce yourself. Do yoga and go on a hike. Lay on the beach under the stars and have a dnm with your best friend. Dance around and sing at the top of yours lungs at that festival. Life is meant to be lived, not controlled.”—
It seems okay to cry at home, beside your friend, after a long day that was primarily composed of a string of mini, soul-grating events, not events of a dramatic life-changing nature, but events like waking up with a hangover and finding that all your clothes hanging to dry are still wet, and so being forced to wear wet clothes to work, and at work finding that your co-worker’s called in sick, which leaves you with an incredibly stressful and busy day ahead of you, so stressful and busy that you don’t even get lunch, and that you fuck up numerous times, and that you accidentally snap at your girlfriend, who fails to see that you’re just extremely busy and stressed and instead takes it as a personal affront but you basically have to hang up on her because currently the amount of work you have to do is like this massive freight train just rolling; events that just seemed to reinforce the frustrating notion that today the universe actually hated you, and the people you had to deal with were unrelentingly adversarial and angular, or at least they all for some reason seemed to have coordinated today to be the day that they’d just have no empathy whatsoever for your growing sense of exasperation and simple desire to be home literally holding hot chocolate in your hands and resting your nose above its brim – that they’d all choose today to have absolutely no time for extra considerations and the fact that your life is hard, too, and that you honestly want to be a child again, in your actual childhood home, in the distinctly-smelling basement next to a space heater with a blanket around your shoulders eating graham crackers while contentedly watching your dad play video games, one of the smallest and safest people on the planet.